Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Changes..Clarity and Gratitude

Wow! Can't believe it's been so long since I posted.

This post is very difficult for me to write for as most of you that know me, I'm very rarely ever serious...I much prefer laughter to drama, but I think that this experience may be cathartic and theraputic for me...so here goes.

For the last two years, I have been battling, lets just say a "demon of my own making". I hated what how it was able to take over and change me. But at the same time, I thought I was doing nothing wrong because I wasn't hurting anyone (but myself) and honestly, I kept it quiet so many people who know me well, never knew or even suspected that I was going through this internal struggle. Without going into details, the demon almost won completely on January 5th. The experience was scary, painful and I never want to re-live something like that ever again.

In order to never go there again, I had to admit some really hard truths to myself and my family. I had to face just how far I'd allowed this demon to take over part of me...and I have to fight really hard for the rest of my life NEVER to return there again. So, there have been some very big changes that I've made in my life.

I would like to ask that each of you that read this, if you would just whisper a prayer-a hope-a strength for me as I make these changes that I will continue to remain strong in my decisions and actions. Also, send those same prayers and thoughts to Bob and my family as they continue to be my "rock" of support.

I have had a moment of clarity...and I'm very grateful for the opportunity to be here to tell about it. For the first time in nearly two years, I feel great and it's like I'm seeing the world through brand new eyes...clear, clean and fresh. Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers! :)

4 comments:

Veronica said...

Absolutely. Prayers said. Take on my resolution: Live Life, DON'T let Life LIVE you!! Hang strong and continue to believe in yourself.{{{{hugs}}}}

kelliebean said...

{{hugs}} to you, my friend. You are in my prayers. Please take care of yourself and keep us updated. Love ya!

Anonymous said...

I am sooooooo proud of you! Always have been, always will be. From your biggest fan.

Shannon said...

Take care of yourself and I hope everything works out for you.